Once upon a time..
In the fairy tales...women looked for that prince to come along to rescue
them. They could not own land and were themselves property of their
husbands...just like the horse or the home.
Early 1900's war took women from the home, and for the first time they
learned that they could handle anything a man could handle. They
even had their own Professional Baseball League and flew fighter planes
in the war.
Mid 1900's brought the vote..but the men were home from war and wanted
their jobs back. Women once again became the pretty thing sitting
at home..a man's decoration. Fashion magazines blared the message
that a woman was to be fluff, not intelligent. She was the home
economist and that was all.
Late 1950's and 1960's a new war was raging..women had had enough and
were willing to burn their bras and take the fight to the streets.
Women were allowed into the NASA space program and could train for space
flight..but they were only for looks..NASA had no intention of actually
using them! Women were manipulated into thinking change was on the
horizon...but it never came.
1970's and 1980's women join the Corporate ranks in high numbers..but
their pay was outrageously lower than any man who held the same position.
1990's Women are the number one owners of home based businesses!
Self employed women are now making the rules for the 21st Century.
Single moms are raising families and don't even CARE that there is no husband
around. In fact.. the idea of a husband was not even a consideration
for many!
After all of our changes..one thing still holds us up. For many
women, abuse from loved ones holds them back and forces them to believe
that they are less than they are.
Our history for centuries has caused women to become non-entities.
We have been trained to sit back, be quiet and basically accept our lot
in life. It is bred into our beings from text books, commercials, novels,
and our own mothers.
How will we break free? First we have to realize WHY we allow
these things to happen.
Then we must decide to change. NOT as a whole new race..but as
individuals. You cannot change a world..but you can change YOUR world!
So what about NOW? What are you supposed to do while you are in
the midst of a tough situation? Here is a list of things you should
bear in mind or do until the day comes that you have the conviction to
change your life!
Know that you are not alone! This affects women from all areas of
life..rich and poor..educated and uneducated.
You are not responsible for the actions of your husband, boyfriend, lover.
You did not force him to hurt you and you did nothing to bring this upon
yourself. He was trained somewhere in his life that this is the way
to handle problems, kids, wife, anything! Deep down he may know he
is wrong. You can tell this if he covers up in front of others...perhaps
blames your bruises on a recent fall.."you are so clumsy!" Know that
no one believes him!
You must understand that what he is doing is illegal and you do have rights.
You can find a way out!
If he hurts you, he will hurt the kids! It is only a matter of time
if it has not already occured. And this goes both ways..if he hurts
the kids..you will be next!
Many women feel so trapped into their relationships that they cannot see
any way to break free. This is because of the brain washing involved.
Phrases such as "you are nothing without me" and "no one will ever love
you like I do" and even "I will change..just don't leave" are common tactics
used to control your mind! You are being tricked into believing that
YOU have the problem and YOU are to blame and YOU are worthless.
YOU ARE NOT!!!
Here are things to do until you are ready to make that leap!
Talk! To anyone that you can trust! Mom..best friend..aunt..lawyer..counselor!
Find someone that will just listen and do as you request! You need
another friend, not another fight!
Have your doctor quietly document your wounds..even if you "call" them
accidents! If not your doctor..have your friend take photos and have
your friend hide them..YOU DO NOT KEEP THE PHOTOS AT YOUR HOME..he will
most likely find them and then it will be worse.
Keep a diary..online in a private password protected place. Choose
a password so foreign that he would never guess it..perhaps a cuss word
or a word you would NEVER in a million years use. Never write this
word down ever.
Contact your local authorites. Call the YMCA or 1-800-799-safe.
Find out where the shelters are and know their phone numbers by heart or
hide them in a secret place.
With the address and or phone numbers, keep plenty of coins for phone calls
and money for a taxi or bus if necessary.. Hide this where you can
get to it quickly if needed.
Arrange a signal with a neighbor if things are going badly! Maybe
turn a special light on such as a window candle in an odd color..or a window
shade that only goes up or down for this one reason! Tell your friend
to contact the police if they see the signal.
Have your important papers in that safe place that you can get to easily.
These include birth certificates, special photos that make you feel good,
jewelry, social security cards, drivers license, money, food stamps, your
children's papers bank account numbers, credit card numbers.
Once you are away...don't look back! It will never be as bad in the
"outside" world as it was in that home! If all you have to eat is
peanut butter.. you will find that freedom makes that peanut butter the
best you have ever eaten!
Be sure to have your plan NOW.. long before you need it. It will
comfort you to know that you are ready, and it will empower you!
It gives you the upper hand. You won't be alone and scared because
you have already planned and are prepared.
I hope this helps you! Please know you are prayed for and loved!
You are so precious and important! You are a WOMAN and that makes
you strong and able to do whatever you need to do to survive! It
is your life and only you can change it.
Cynthia Foster
Lady and grey background provided by Cynthia
Bulletin Board